Love

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

1 John 4:18 

I often find myself increasingly placed into situations where I am uncertain of how to act, or what is expected of me. I am constantly challenged to stretch myself and place myself in places where I am incredibly uncomfortable, reluctant and even unwilling. Caring for people and being a part of people's lives requires me to step out of my comfort zone and be vulnerable. I believe that God will continually teach me how to be vulnerable and be comfortable with the uncomfortable.

 Julianna Lei - Pastoral Care

Over the month of October, God has been revealing to me more and more about what His love really is.  I had an opportunity to reflect on passages from 1 John and it has really challenged me in my way of loving.  Since the beginning of September, I have found simple things such as initiating and intentionality to be extremely difficult in my relationship with April and keeping up with regular meetings with my students because I was too "tired".  I was finding excuses not to love people (wife, students, friends, community). As I reflected on this more, I soon realize a common thing amongst all my excuses.  That common thing was fear.  There was an underlying layer of fear of being rejected that was paralyzing me from loving the people around me.  This fear comes from generational sin as well as experiences of being rejected over and over again.  In 1 John 4:18, he clearly states that love and fear cannot co-exist with each other.  I hit the fear wall of my own capacity to love.  

Since then, I have been noticing more and more about the IVCF community and the places where fear is paralyzing our community in truly loving God and loving each other.  I could see how the fear of change often prevents us from welcoming new students into our regular small groups, how the fear acceptance (or lack of) leads us to choose isolation instead of community during hectic times (exams), and how the fear not being provided for leads us into keeping our God given talents and gifts for ourselves and not sharing it with others.

This is the reality of our community.  These are the things that we as an executive continue to work on and wrestle with in our everyday lives.  Yet despite all the problems that are happening, God still finds a way to do incredible things in the midst of our brokenness.  Here is Josh's story as he wrestles with leading a Small Group:

Ever since joining IVCF I have felt right at home, felt like there was a place I could find community. The years at university can be a lonely place and it can feel like that for a lot of people. I loved being able to delve into Scripture with the small group at IVCF, it was a place where I was constantly reminded that it was a safe space where my ideas and answers will not be judged. Judgment is such a big barrier that keeps me pinned to silence when it comes to the Bible and Jesus. Why am I so afraid of what Christ has done for me? Because it’s crazy, it’s not “normal”, but that’s the thing about Jesus, he’s not “normal” to the world, in fact he’s backwards at times. In a society where we are taught to look out for ourselves, do everything for ourselves, it’s all about me, everything gained is all for me. But why are we silent about something so grand? Do we make a feast and invite only our close friends? No, not with something this grand. Invite everyone around, tell them about this wonderful feast, this great light, for Jesus is the bread of life and the light of our lives. 


I love food, I really do, I enjoy eating almost anything, and I know that when I eat something good I want to tell everyone about it. “Hey have you tried this place out? No? Well then let me show you.” It’s so easy, and yet it’s so hard when it comes to Jesus. But honestly it’s something I’m still wrestling with, the freedom that God’s grace is for me. That the delicious sandwich that is God’s love and mercy is for me. And for a lot of people it can be that way, but it is, this banquet full of whatever you fit your fancy to be whether it is steak, lobster, sushi, or spaghetti is for you. But it’s not just for you, it’s for everyone to enjoy and the more people the merrier.  

This idea of a banquet made it easier to lead a small group where small group didn’t seem like a teacher-student interaction but as a community of peers all gathered together “eating up” whatever the Lord had set for us that day. There’s always going to be fussy eaters, there’s always going to be people who don’t want to eat but at the end of the day everyone needs nourishment, and my job wasn’t to force the food down their mouth my job was to set out a plate and provide a place where they could feel comfortable sitting and knowing that no matter what they eat that we are all eating together at this wonderful banquet. This was my hope for this semester’s small group, to create a safe space and a place where anyone could come in and feel like they were included. Was it a success? Well, I’m not sure but I hope I’ve created a space like that. 

It is my first time leading a small group and doing it by myself is quite the daunting task. Thankfully there are people who can support me and help me through being a leader such as Barron and Justin and all the members in IVCF. It can be so easy to neglect it with everything else going on in life. But these are real people that I’m at the table with and some days it can feel like, “Alright God, I really need your help today to continuously love these people.” It’s so easy to love those who we really get along with and I feel like that the people in my small group are like that, that they are easy to get along, even though they have their own quirks and problems they are easy to get along with. But there are always days where I don’t feel like it. But just being able to connect with them and talk to them makes me realize it isn’t as much of a chore as I think it is, that I really do enjoy being with these people. Surprisingly one of them opened up very quickly to me, and it scared me, I didn’t know all the answers to his questions. Heck I was far younger than him! But my job as a leader sometimes isn’t to know all the answers to his questions, but to come alongside him and acknowledge that he isn’t the only one wrestling with issues. To be there as a place where he can feel safe and know that I am his brother in Christ and that whatever issues he is dealing with there is someone here who cares for him. It’s difficult at times to lead because everyone is at a different point in their walk with Christ, everyone is searching for different things. But it surprises me every time when someone tells me that what I said impacted them, and it’s in this way that I love leading small group because it excites me in the ways that God is going to use me!

 Joshua Wong - Small Group Leader