From Loneliness to Solitude

I would have to say that these past 6 months, I have not been doing well.  I was experiencing a great deal of tiredness and sadness.  Feeling extremely burnt out and in a place where I just couldn't experience joy anymore.  I know this was also tough for April too as she was wrestling with work and feeling quite helpless to help me but also frustrated that I am not well.

Thank goodness for this past week where we were able find space, away from each other, and come to Jesus personally.  For me it was at Emerging Leaders where I remembered who Jesus was and the reason why I keep denying myself for His sake.  I had to move from Loneliness to Solitude which physically, looks identical but are very different.  Loneliness, Jesus is no where to be seen, felt, or heard.  Jesus is absent.  Solitude on the other hand is the constant presence of Jesus.

I also came to a place where there was a great deal of unforgiveness in my heart towards April.  I didn't realize how much it was affecting me until I was practicing the discipline of Sabbath and attempting to rest.  I realized at that moment that this unforgiveness was one of the major barriers that was preventing me from loving my wife and also from resting.  I repented right there and then.

During all of this, April was also going through a bit of a realization.  She had multiple conversations with friends in which she shared her frustrations.  It was then her friends were able to reflect back to her around some of her "unreasonable" expectations.  She in expected me to be an intellectual (I'm not really one).  She expected me to be a respectable leader and to be always well (which I am but I'm not always well).  Over this week, these realizations she had, she was realizing how tough it was on me and she also had to come to a place of forgiving me and repentance of these places.

In short, we both had to repent of our unforgiveness of each other.  This has been an answer to prayers of all our friends, family, and supporters, as well as our very one ones.  It has only been a couple of days, but we've been experiencing a deeper sense of joy and peace for each other and we give Praise to Jesus for this experience.

We continue to welcome and covet your prayers and support.  If you would like to hear more specific details on my Emerging Leaders and April's week, we would love to share it with you more.

Shattering Old Traditions and Rules.

A Modern Day Fable

A group of scientists placed five monkeys in a cage, and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on top. Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with cold water.  After a while, every time a monkey would start up the ladder, the others would pull it down and beat it up. After a time, no monkey would dare try climbing the ladder, no matter how great the temptation. The scientists then decided to replace one of the monkeys. The first thing this new monkey did was start to climb the ladder. Immediately, the others pulled him down and beat him up. After several beatings, the new monkey learned never to go up the ladder, even though there was no evident reason not to, aside from the beatings. The second monkey was substituted and the same occurred. The first monkey participated in the beating of the second monkey. A third monkey was changed and the same was repeated. The fourth monkey was changed, resulting in the same, before the fifth was finally replaced as well. What was left was a group of five monkeys that – without ever having received a cold shower – continued to beat up any monkey who attempted to climb the ladder. If it was possible to ask the monkeys why they beat up on all those who attempted to climb the ladder, their most likely answer would be “I don’t know. It’s just how things are done around here.”

Every culture, church, fellowship, workplace, household, family, friends group, etc has its unspoken traditions and rules that they follow almost like the monkeys.  Even we have unspoken traditions that we follow also.  These rules and traditions are set in place for most likely good purposes.  But when do these rules and traditions become hindrances for us as we try to follow Jesus and bring the Kingdom of God to this earth?

When I came to SFU 5 years ago, I would hear stories of SFU being the campus of death or it's really hard to do ministry up there.  In the IVCF realm, I would hear from staff not so good things about the SFU campus.  Things like:

• No one from SFU would go to MARKwest 
• No one is interested in GUPs or the Internship
• No one will go to Urbana
• It is impossible to do community there because it's a commuter campus.  

As I heard these reasons from both my friends and peers, I kept wondering, "Why?"  Why is it so difficult? So I went in with the mindset of, "I'm going to prove you ALL wrong!"  I'll be honest, I thought I was going to be doing great things, and God did some incredible things in and through me.  But, I don't attribute these following growth and numbers to what I have done.  Fortunately for me, God seemed to have the same mindset in proving everyone wrong.  All the glory to God.

In response to the tradition of not attending MARKwest:

2011 - 7 SFU students went to MARKwest

2012 - 12 SFU students went to MARKwest
2013 - 20 SFU students went to MARKwest
2014 - 21 SFU students went to MARKwest
2015 - 30 SFU students went to MARKwest
2016 - 45 SFU students hoping to go to MARKwest

In response to the tradition of not going to Urbana:

Urbana 2012 - 7 SFU students went to Urbana
Urbana 2015 - 20 SFU students went to Urbana

In response to GUPs

• 2011 - 1 SFU student went to China
• 2012 - 2 SFU students went to VUP
• 2013 - 1 SFU student went to VUP
• 2014 - 2015 - 0 SFU students went on GUPs
• 2016 - 6 students are applying to go on VUP & 1 student is doing a DTS with YWAM.

In response to the IVCF Internship

1 student (Julianna Lei) from SFU is applying to the IVCF internship

In response to the commuter campus and the lack of community

• We are going to be doing everything on campus now.
• Fall 2016 - The first IVCF SFU Community house is hoping to be on campus.

Looking at these numbers and the quality of students that I have the privilege of being with.  I think God is trying to say something here to me and also everyone who is reading this.  I think God is saying that whatever rules, traditions, mindsets, expectations, systems, etc, God is not bound to these things.  God is above and beyond these things that we tell ourselves to believe and I believe, he LOVES proving us wrong and showing how narrow-minded we really are.  Even when I look at these numbers, I realize, God is going to prove me and everyone wrong again.

I believe that this is ONLY the beginning.  I look forward to sharing with you stories of people students coming to faith monthly, weekly, even on a daily basis!  I look forward to sharing with you how the SFU campus culture is being shaped by God's work through the IVCF Community.  God is not done yet.  He is only beginning!

This old mindset of SFU is dead now and has no right to be here anymore.  God is choosing to use faithful students, staff, and donors (you), and he wants to show each of us and the world what He is capable of doing and that He is worth following.  

My dear friends and family, I am happy and honoured to be a part of God's mission and I hope that you feel the same way knowing that you are sowing into building the Kingdom of God at SFU through your prayers and financial support.  Keep praying, keep supporting, and pray some more, because God is not done with this.  He is only beginning.

Why Did I Say "Yes" to VUP?

Katie (Left) in transit with her friend Mary (Right)

Prior to Urbana, I hadn't even considered VUP as a possibility. I found it an intriguing opportunity that would be great for others and a small potential that probably would never come about for myself in future years. I had plan, a two year plan to graduate as soon as I was able. Funnily enough, I have been making these semester by semester plans since moving out to Vancouver with God changing my plans for the better every single semester. It’s a lesson I've been constantly learning, but also constantly grateful for, because upon reflection, I can see the good that has come about. This summer’s plan was to find a co-op to be able to find a thesis supervisor so that I can begin my Honour’s thesis as soon as possible. The cascade of these events left no room for adjustment without having to extend my undergraduate career by another semester.

However, I felt convicted at Urbana of my unwillingness to release control over the coming summer. On the night of the prayer for the persecuted church, I could hear God’s voice saying “Will you not go?” It was not a voice of accusation nor was it demanding, but simply clear and full of authority. While I realize the proper response would've been to courageously and whole-heartedly say yes, my response was to meekly and hesitantly say “I will go”. My initial thoughts were to find an international missions trip; I had even attempted to find a bio-medically related co-op in short term missions, futilely trying to salvage my own plans while obeying God’s. Through some emails and discussions, those doors seemed to be continually shut and there were questions of “okay God, where am I supposed to go? I heard this call, but I don’t know where. Will you lead me?”

I recall seeing a gentleman at Production Way and to my shame, I had passed him a few times before without stopping. I felt God tugging at my heart strings again and I recalled the passage of the sheep and goats where the goats did not realize that they simply walked past the one whom they call Lord. I decided to approach him one day and to hear his story. Listening, praying, a gift of a coffee seemed so very small and I couldn't help but wonder once again “isn't there something more that I can do?”
Fast forward a few days later, I had one of my one-to-one meetings with Justin where he brought up VUP again. He looked me straight in the eyes and genuinely said “I think VUP would be really good for you”. After our discussion and learning more about VUP, it was time for intercessory prayer and we happened to move from our usual area in the Undergrounds to the West Mall Centre. After prayer had ended, we happened to bump into Anika who had previously to VUP before. The quote “coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous” comes to mind and the three of us realized that this was no simple coincidence. It was a beautiful opportunity to connect, to share about how God has worked in our lives in the past, and to pray for one another.

Through further prayer and discernment, I believe that God may be leading me to take part in VUP in order to broaden my understanding of community. Although all the other details of my summer are uncertain, I know that He already knows on how it will all work out. Knowing that He is a loving father that is in control, it brings a level of peace because His plans are good.

How Has Urbana Changed the Way You Live?

Benjamin Lau's answer to the question.  How has Urbana changed the way you live?

There were two main things I learned and has changed the way I live.

During a session on unity, Michelle Higgens stated that “indifference is neither hate nor love”. We cannot be indifferent about the stories of this world. If we are to be family, we must listen to everyone’s story and engage. Coming back from Urbana we had a chance to debrief with our pastors about this topic and they really helped me understand that the first step in developing a community within our church is to be thankful of the current state of the people. Though I could easily point out all the things we could improve and made me ungrateful of where people were at. In order to love and be in unity, I realized I needed to first accept people as they are no matter where they are at in their walk. Through accepting people despite their inequities, I am now able to share my life and engage intentionally with them.

In another session about missions I was reminded that there are also times when we forget the true meaning of missions. “there are some who manufacture the heart for missions but miss the heart for Christ. Missions is not your life, Christ is! Missions is the overflow of your love for Christ” - David Platt. I realized I was once guilty of this. I began saying to myself “missions is our life” when I forgot that actually Christ is. By defining my life as Christ it made me love Him that much more. Without Christ everything I did was meaningless. God changes people from the inside first then it is outwardly expressed and the outward expression also contains missions. The outward expression of my love for Him has led to things that I would not normally do, like intentionally meeting new people and sharing things I wouldn't normally share.

Please continue to be praying for Ben as he pursues Jesus at SFU.

Spirituality Cannot be Borrowed.

It's hard to believe as I reflect back on my previous Urbana experiences and how God used each one of them.  They have either changed my life or changed my perspective.  In 2006, I received a calling from God to go overseas to work with water.  The following summer, I went to Switzerland doing Aquatic Research.  In 2009, I received a deep sense of healing in my identity as a person with a disability through Prayer Ministry.  In 2012, I came to understand the authority and power of the Trinity through intercessory prayer.  When you pray, things happen!  If they don't, you will be unrecognisably changed and transformed!.  Now, finally, in 2015, I came to understand and see the vastness of God's Kingdom and a MUCH broader perspective of what family is supposed to be and look like in God's Kingdom.

At the very moment Patrick Fung said this (see quote above), I realized that this is what I've been trying to do for my students my whole time on staff and during my IVCF years at the U of R.  Every invitation, every mentorship meeting, every core witness meeting, it was for the purpose of hoping that each of my students would make their spiritual their own.

It was also encouraging to hear Patrick share of his own story of his 18 daughter wanting to go on missions, specifically to a place where they did not know Patrick Fung.  This decision made by his daughter caused a lot of tension and anxiety with Patrick and his wife.  Eventually, his daughter said that the reason why she wanted to go to a place where they didn't know Patrick Fung was because she wanted to stop borrowing her spirituality from him.  At that moment, Patrick and his wife heard from God, "You decided to follow Me (Jesus) at the age of 18, now your daughter is 18 and she wants to follow Me.  Are you going to be a hindrance to her?"

When I heard this story, I was shocked.  Mostly because I am seeing an older asian man sharing his own personal struggles with his child going into missions, even though he is well into the life of mission.  On top of that, I was amazed at his humility in dealing with the situation.  As I thought about it more, I realized that in Patrick's daughter being faithful to following Jesus not only helped her make her spirituality her own but invited Patrick and his wife to do the same thing.  They needed to trust in Jesus even more now with the care of their children.

IVCF SFU Urbana Team!

As I listened to his story, I could picture and see the faces of each and everyone of my students.  The tension and longing in each of their hearts to follow Jesus and making their spirituality their own, but how following Jesus can often go against family values and tradition.  I could hear each of them saying in their hearts, "I wish my family could respond in this way." and the tension building up.  But also, seeing how the faithfulness of the younger generation can be an invitation to the older generation to follow Jesus in a deeper way they can ever imagine.  I could see the hope of reconciliation in my students hearts as they sat and heard this man's story.

After this Urbana, I have a deeper sense of clarity in the invitations I am giving for my students to follow Jesus.  I have a better understanding of what the cost is for them culturally, socially, emotionally, and sometimes even physically to follow Jesus.  I also know that despite the cost, it is absolutely worth it because Jesus deserves all of our love, attention and praise.

Please join me and pray with me for each of my students as they take this long journey in making their spirituality their own.

Upcoming Events & Prayer Requests

Upcoming Events

• IVCF MARKwest Pacific Fundraiser - March 18
• Regina Donor Visits - March 24 - April 4
• MARKwest Pacific - April 29 - May 5
• VUP - May 8 - June 4

Students & Campus

• Pray for the SFU Interns (Alan, Sanjana, & Xenia) as they are in the interview process and discerning where to go to join staff.
• Pray for the MARKwest Pacific Fundraiser - Goal $4000.
• Pray for MARKwest Pacific Student Recruitment - Goal:  45 SFU Students.
• Pray for the new team dynamics and partnership with each other
• Pray for the on campus leadership and outreach events.
• Pray for my funding to be fully funded in monthly donations.
• Pray for our housing situation.  There are some complications which may require us to move.

Personal

• Pray for my growth as a leader and mentor.
• Pray for me as I continue to network and connect with other Churches in the Lower Mainland.
• Pray for the Inter-Generational Dialogue between 1st and 2nd Generation Chinese Pastors.
• Pray for mine & April's relationship in our marriage and a deeper understanding of God's Love for each other.
• Pray for more opportunities and clients for April in her field of work.
• Pray for me that I will rest well during my Sabbaths.
• Pray for me that I will be exercising more regularly.
• Pray for the regular rhythms of time with God for both April and I
• Pray for wisdom and discernment around us being more missional in our everyday lives.
• Pray for April and I as we are doing more family planning.

Praise Item

• Praise the Lord for providing my full support in monthly donations
• Praise the Lord that April and I are receiving new life and understanding of each other.
• Praise the Lord for students not choosing fear but into faith.
• Praise the Lord for open ears for our leaders and their responses to deeper calls into faith.
• Praise the Lord 6 SFU students doing VUP this year.